so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize