You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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