Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize