You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
