all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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