true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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