Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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