"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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