Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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