Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sex while Star Warsing is the best