I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.