Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
where are you?
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.