Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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