You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
