Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize