I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
