i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize