I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
