Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
