Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize