don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Who died my cat blue again?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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