Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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