you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
