we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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