There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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