In the future we'll all be gay
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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