Sry I called you an 8
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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