If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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