Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly