im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.