I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
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he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.