it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
