I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Congratulations! We have a period
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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