IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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