I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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