Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
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We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
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I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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