WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.