just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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