evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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