Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
