I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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