I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
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BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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