Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
