i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
