words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize