I'm lost and stupid without you.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
