M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize