Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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