Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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