You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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