I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize