you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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