Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize