I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize