I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
